Lost In Debt

I've been debating with myself as to whether or not I want to blog about my debt. There is embarrassment and shame associated with having $134,000 in credit card debt, but I'm hoping that maybe writing about this situation and trying to resolve it will make me somehow feel better and that it may help others in this situation.
How I got to this point comes from at least nine years of being a single parent, making a good income and thinking that I could just keep spending. I put two kids through college, bailed out a failing business and have helped numerous friends and family members through some financial problems. I've been more than generous with my children and have charged on my credit cards like there is no tomorrow, thinking there would be no problem paying it back. Then the inevitable, the housing market slowed to a crawl and my income is commission and it is connected to the housing market and real estate. This year alone my income dropped about 45%, when you have two houses with mortgages to the tune of $280,000 and $134,000 in credit card debt, something has to give.
I have charged my credit cards to the max in 2007, because I have been unable to keep up with my expenses without borrowing from my cards. Both of my cars broke down with repairs of $6,000, and one was involved in an accident, another $4,000, my house needed some serious repairs to the septic system and I needed to paint it to get it ready for sale, and my income declined. So here I am, I've maxed out my credit cards, I don't have enough money coming in from my job to pay all my monthly bills and I have to find an alternative to bankruptcy, before I cash in all my assets just to make monthly payments. I don't know when this market will turn around and my income will be more stable, but is commission ever stable?
I've researched it all and I've decided that debt settlement will be the best option for me. I've talked to three debt settlement companies and with their fees, it will take me longer to get out of debt. Also, I really think creditors want to talk to their consumers and I can do anything a debt negotiator can do. However, they do have more experience and they settle large amounts at once, which probably makes them more of an expert, but I need to do this myself because, as it is, I don't have all the money I need to be swift and successful with this and with a debt negotiator it would take me longer to settle and the longer it takes, the more chance I have of being sued. Although I want to avoid being sued, there are worse things in life, but publically it would be very embarrassing.
I have consulted with a bankruptcy attorney and I could file Chapter 13, but that process would take five years and I really want this over in one year and I don't want to live with that on my public record for the next 10 years. It could affect my future employment opportunites because I believe that if you have had a bankruptcy you can never get bonded?
How do I plan on taking care of this in one year? Right now I'm thinking I will have to borrow against my 401k - I think I will have about $35,000 available by April in a loan and a hardship withdrawal. I've been able to borrow $22,000 and I am going to try to sell my second car and some personal belongings for about $10,000 in the spring. I'm thinking I will get a tax refund of about $3,000. That still isn't enough money, I'm figuring I'll need about $75,000 and that only totals $70,000 so I'll have to try to save the additional $5,000 by June. I tried to get a home equity but was denied because of a low appraisal. I figure waiting and negotiating will take a total of six to eight months so I have some time to do the things I need to do and hopefully the car will sell and etc. It's pretty much up in the air right now. My goal is to have this credit card debt behind me by the end of 2008.
Regarding the houses, I've been able to rent one house and that pretty much covers the mortgage payment, taxes and insurance. The house I'm currently living in is going up for sale next year. If the housing market doesn't turn around, I will not be able to sell it and I will have to live here another year. My mortgage is an adjustable rate mortgage, interest only and that scares me. I took out a five year ARM about a year ago thinking I was selling the property and needed some breathing room until it sold, but with the housing market falling, I can't get what I need to get right now, if worse comes to worse I may have to "take my bath while the water is warm" and sell for what I owe on it, we'll see.
So who are my creditors with the credit card debt; BOA, Chase, Citi, Discover and Sears, five creditors with eight credit cards. BOA is my largest balance to the tune of $59,000, Citi and Discover I owe $50,300, Chase about $18,000 and $6,700 to Sears. I figure by the time I am ready to settle these cards they will be at $150,000 to $160,000 with overlimit fees and late fees and their famous 30% interest. They really try to help you out once you go delinquent! By the way, I haven't had a late payment on anything in over 20 years; I'm really nervous about this whole thing.
Today my payment is due at BOA, the first payment I will not be able to make. Wish me luck!
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