Living and Dying

So I'm in debt and trying to find my way out. Is that the worst thing in life? After the year that I have had this year, I'd say that the people in my life and their wellness mean more to me than my dying credit score and digging my way out. I can eventually settle my debts, one way or another, and one day my credit score will improve. What is the worst thing that could happen to me in regard to my debt? I could get sued and eventually end up settling that debt, with a good attorney.

In the last few months I have lost a very dear cousin in an automobile accident. The death was very unexpected and tragic to his parents and family. This was their only son and he was the idol of their eye. My cousin and I have a lot of history together and it was a huge loss.

I also am dealing with a friend of 25 years who has cancer and is terminal. I've been dealing with her cancer off and on for about four years. At one point we thought she was cured and now we are in the final stages; how did that happen? Each morning for the last few weeks I go to her house at 7:00 am for "coffee time"; I bring her coffee and make her eggs and toast just the way she likes them and then we talk for a while. I go back to my home as my day progresses, I do what work I might have (which is very little lately) and then I go back and help her and her disabled son by doing laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, snowblowing her yard and cooking. She is so sick she can only make it from her bed to a chair and she stays there for the rest of the day.

When you are terminal, they put you on a strong dose of morphine for pain and sometimes I don't think she quite understands what is going on. We have been able to get additional help in the last few weeks and now we have 24 hour care. She has no immediate family here and is dying alone with just friends like myself and a few others. We have solicited the help of hospice and other services available for her and we pray that soon her daughter will come before it's too late.

Today she told me she was afraid to die and thought she would before New Years, I only hope she makes it until after Christmas so her disabled son can have a half way decent Christmas. Her disabled son is in his 30's and is mentally challenged, but not enough so he doesn't know that she is going to die, but I'm not sure he truly knows how final that will be. He is constantly telling her he doesn't want her to suffer anymore and he loves her.

So there are worse things in life. Material things and things of this earth will go away and maybe we make some mistakes that cost us, but what is really important? I choose life and the love of my family, I can fix the rest.