My First Talk with a Creditor about Late Payments

So for days now Discover card has been calling relentlessly, even Saturday and Sunday. So since I'm right out straight working (yeah, right!) I decided to answer the phone yesterday when they called and begin the process.

The representative says hello and says he is calling to remind me that I'm late on my Discover payments and he'd just like to debit my checking account for the $537.00. I advise the rep that if I could make the payment, I would have done it myself, that I have a very serious financial problem. I further tell him that my business is real estate housing and I have no work and have lost my income. I advise him that I'm in over $130,000 in credit card debt and I can't pay anyone right now and I've consulted with a bankruptcy attorney, but am looking for alternatives and am talking with friends and family to see what they can do and I don't think I will have a solution for a few months, not until I know how much money I can come up with.

The representative advises me that he needs to transfer me to someone else so they can stop calling me so much. I get a lady who wants to know if I own real estate. I advise her that I do, but I have borrowed against it to the maximum while trying to avoid the situation I'm in and I have no equity left and with the failing housing market, I can't even sell it. She wants to know what company I work for. I advise her that that is irrelevant since I have no income coming in and I am a performanced based income and basically self-employed. I further advise her that there is no work, housing is not moving and where I live I can't find the kind of income I was making prior to the housing crash and I will not easily be able to fix this problem, I owe too many people and I just don't have the income and haven't had since January of last year, I've been floating myself with credit and that is how I got in this mess. She wants to know if I am married. This is a hard question for me, I got married in August 2007, no one knows because I did not change my name. Also, my husbands financial situation was terrible when we married, he has since been able to get debts settled, with my help, but his income is low and he has a daughter in college so he has been unable to help much here, basically he pays for most of our groceries and that is it.

I don't want to disclose to the representative that I got married, I was divorced nine years, I know they will think he has an income that I can tap into and they will put more pressure on me and it will make it more difficult for settlement. Also, this is not my husbands debt, it is mine and in just my name so he has no financial obligation to pay it, so I tell her I am not married (I just lied). We have no joint credit, we just have one piece of real estate together and I hold the mortgage on it because his credit was so bad he couldn't get a loan and almost lost the house. Currently the house is rented until we can sell either this house or that one, the sad thing is right now neither property has much equity and I've owned my house for 25 years and he owned his for 15 years, that is what divorced and being a single parent will do to you. I put two kids through college and it's expensive. He has a daughter in college and went through an ugly divorce that almost ruined him, bad things happen to good people.

I hear her typing away, she then tells me she has a program where they can reduce my payment to $700.00 a month until things are better. Let me see, I think I know my math, didn't the payment just go up? I advise her that I can't pay what I owe now and can't possibly pay more. I guess because my rate is up to 30% my payment just increased. She then says she will be in touch. She wasn't too bad and seemed sympathetic, but I know this will continue from here and will probably get worse before it gets better.

Today, my only daughter, wants me to go to a bridal shop with her. She is getting married in June and we are picking out her wedding dress and her brides maids dresses. My daugther is 31 and she lost her father several years ago, so I am it. She knows financially that I am having problems, but I have told her I will do what I can for her and I want to pay for her dress, it is the least I can do. In the old days I would have paid for the entire wedding, but I can't do that now (kind of makes me sad). She is self sufficient and they bought a home last year and they had a baby, so they are adults and I am an official grandmother. I just can't believe time goes by so fast.